一样的夏天 ，就是有着很特别的味道

听着《一样的夏天》， 一种懒洋洋的感觉，在心中，一种想哭，但又可以控制着不哭得感觉，一种好像很平静的感觉。。。 哎呀，这是，泪在眼眶打转了。。 呵呵。。:)

当然有想他咯，可是，已经是淡淡的那种想念了， 就在这几天，我才开始真正找回那种单身的感觉， 很久违的感觉。 一种悠悠的蓝，一种能够在辽阔草原深呼吸的感觉。还不能完全走去来，可是离出口应该不远了。

有些事，真的有自己去摸索，经历。。 去熬过。。 不然。。 不是那么容易就能深切地体会到。。。

I miss u.... but.... will it help??？？

yes... I miss him... but , will it do any good to the situation?? because the problem is not with me now... if u miss someone, u love someone.. but he doesnt even appreciate.. does it bring any meaning to your love?

Only now , i started to realize the importance of the appreciation, anything in this world.. if it lost its appreciation from its special something/someone... no matter how valuable or good it is... it is still has no meaning to exist in this world...

maybe he still miss me, maybe he doesn't, but if he really do, but he refuse to do anything ... tat shows my importance in his heart is really not that high... I always believe that if a person can give up a relationship / friendship/ bond just to protect his ego, it means tat... u are no one to this person... coz you are less important than his ego...... it is in fact really disappointed and hurting my heart so bad.. but this time , the pain is not the intense and obvious pain... it is the pain that could drill into the heart slowly  ... and leave the permanent scar in the deepest part of your heart. 

I tried to take care of your feeling, indulge your ego to soar up to the sky, I thought one day you would probably understand all the things I have done to you, hoping I could get the appreciation from you.. but... what I got from you now?? I only get a big give up from you on our bond. I just dun understand how could you just cut off the conversation just like that? without any valid reason, without take care of my feeling, posting all those pictures on facebook, as if you worried that I don't see those "beautiful" pictures you have taken with your hot model... or maybe i really should believe that you are purposely showing it to me.. as a hint to tell me that you have found your special someone...


Honestly.. if that is really what you trying to hint me... I think I will still give my blessing to you... coz I am honest to myself... in the bottom of my heart, i know I am still care abt you, still wish you to be happy.. if that person can bring the happiness to your life... I really don't see why I shouldn't empty out the place , so that your speacial someone could now have more space to step into your life more comfortably. Although, I really hate the way you tell me this, I rather you tell me verbally and clearly.. so that I can get myself ready for the new start of my life. But, anyhow, it happened, so, I can only accept it.. and move on.....

Life is so pathetic, isn't it??  i feel like wanna cry... but I am actually smiling on my face... pathetic, isn't it?? hahahaha.......

傻海

今天就来谈一谈“傻海”这东西... 如果你是大马人， 又是80后的，应该就知道什么是傻海， 由于词源相当粗俗，在这里我就不多加解释了。
想看“傻海”的话，你们看我就对了！！ 我就是个活生生的人版。其实是不是每个人都会对某些事情特别得执著？？如果是的话，那也许我还不至于是一个怪胎。。 哈哈哈哈哈
我这个人，对爱情很执著，也很天真 ** 请容许我用这个词，好吗？呵呵呵， 虽然我知道阿娇曾经用过，也把它发扬光大** 也许是小时候电影看得多啦， 好像感觉上，爱情都会使轰轰烈烈的， 都会爱地你死我活， 好像每一段感情，都要先受苦，接着才会有好的结果** 其实这一点我是有所保留啦, 因为都没有一段可以修成正果，都只有痛**, 所以，每一段感情/暧昧，我都会愿意等，愿意牺牲，总是以为到最后，我所做的一切，会被珍惜。
还有一点可以证明我是“傻海”， 就是我很相信我爱/喜欢的那个人，其实不是什么人都可以相信的，我知道我条件不好，但是却笨到相信奇迹会发生在我的身上。像有个男生，我好喜欢他，他也知道，他说，我们不要当情侣，当灵魂伴侣，他说他不会去再找其他的，但我这个白痴却真的去相信了他的这一番话， 这男生帅，高学历，风趣，有经济能力，很多人倾慕，但我却可以愿意去相信他的那番话， 还有，顺道提一提，他是那种不会太记得自己所说过的话的那种人。 所以时间终于证明了我是一个名副其实的“傻海”。事情是这样的，他在FB post 了他一个爱慕者的性感照， 背景是那男生的房间，摄影师当然也是那男生咯，而且，那爱慕者在他的家过夜，你会觉得没有东西发生吗？ 绝对没有可能。。。 真的没有可能。。 坦白说，当我看到那照片时， 我是气昏了， 后来冷静了之后，才发觉，其实这么什么好气的， 要气就气自己笨，那么天真地相信他。更应该气自己没把界限拿捏好，  把它当成男友/准男友看待，想了想， 真的是错在于我，错在我太蠢，所以我下了决心，我们之间，就只当好朋友吧** 也许他一直都是这样对待我，只是我会错意， 可是先在不重要了，我醒了**
当你知道自己蠢，又无从下手根治，就当个“傻海”吧，因为应该没有其他词语能更贴切地形容你了，就像我一样，经典的人版，有没有其他“傻海”也在读者这篇废稿呢？？ 哈哈哈，如果是通道中人，就来交流下咯～～！！　哈哈哈哈